As I was reminded today, The Confessions of St. Augustine talks about the difference between God and Man. For God, Will and Action are one, they eclipse; Action neatly saddles Will, following its guide and its drive silently and majestically. But for Man, Action has grown distant from Will. Practically two planets orbiting different moons, and thus you may see even a seemingly honorable person’s action disconnected, perhaps even in contradiction with his or her Will. And it is Man’s journey, if he is lucky and enlightened enough to understand, to bring the two close together again.
We are not born in perfect control of the ability to act as our will dictates. Nor has contemporary human learning necessarily helped bring the two better in line; in fact, in youth and early adulthood the two probably grow further apart. But we certainly are capable of remembering the importance of progressively bringing them together again. I say remember, because we all know it, we just seem to have forgotten.
I said this blog would be purely about my training but turns out the most important part of my training was not lifting weights or pulling tires. It was making decisions between bowing or purging when Will and Action contradicted. Without the right decisions I would not arrive at the start line with the mental resolve required to succeed. I said this blog was created to share and help the young people out there who love their homes, countries, families, and cultures, but are also a little different, curious, creative, athletic or otherwise and are looking to relate… And so I have to be explicit about this part of my journey too.
Some people bow down when their surroundings try to create a divide between their own internal Will and Action although they know full well the almost divine importance of bringing the two together. Perhaps it was too hard, or perhaps they just weren’t patient or strong enough to see it through. Perhaps it is easier to believe its ok to bow down in some circumstances, or that their particular load was heavier than everyone else’s. No one’s load is too heavy for him or her to bear, unless they believe it is.
Others attempt to purge when their surroundings try to create a divide between Will and Action. Purge their lives of all the excesses, the unnecessaries, which makes the otherwise clear space between Will and Action, cloudy.
This entire journey from the start was about purging, or cleansing in my normal life. I picked a goal that I believed I would not be successful at unless I purged myself of all the noise, internal and external, that jeapordised my focus, strength, mental resolve, and above all freedom. Such that I arrive at the start line with a light step to my foot and a light load on my shoulders. Purging involved my entire lifestyle such as eating and sleeping habits, schedules, creating personal space, negative thoughts, hang ups… Purging friendships that are fun but little more, purging futile professional relationships and focusing on the most important… But of course as with anything you invite into your life, you never really know what it fully entails until you are on the other side. I asked for help purging, and I ended up purging far more than I expected, than I thought I could. A teacher once told me never hate anything that comes your way, that you may hate what is in fact a gift. She was right.
This one is for all the people who are and who will be strong enough to purge instead of bow down.